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Friday, March 23, 2012

Which Is Worse?

What Is Worse?

Having your kids bury you- or, being left behind to bury them? My parents are like so many common folk who hope in their kids to out-last them. My heart goes out to Mom & Dad...especially, "my own kids since I have discovered that my parents & my kids will be the ones who close my casket. My folks dont know Im being treated for Alzheimer, & recently, as of about 6 months ago, is a "brain-tumor much like my cousin Debbie had.

Its growing, which would explain all the sinus pressure Iv had for over the last 3 years. This would also explain why Debbie has haunted me so often after her crossing-over. She & I were close as we were growing up. Im not even sure why we were close @all- since we were both much like rabbits, "very quiet & introverted with our lives surrounded by books & soft chamber-music. I suppose when the time comes- "she & my dearly departed will be the ones to escort me to the other-side.

I just would feel much better to know that my parents & my kids will be ok. I do believe in miracles- but, sometimes miracles just dont happen, regardless of ones own faith or the lack of it. Regardless of this; the quarter is up and spinning in the air; will it be the Alzheimer or "brain-tumor that takes me out? Perhaps the Alzheimer was a blessing in disguise as a pain-killer against the inoperable tumor?...some things- even God cannot fix nor repair due to (over-damage). Im kind of looking forward to the trip- already been there once back in 1974. This time,... "Ill get to stay- unless Im assigned as a guardian to those I had to leave behind. and, in case I become demised while asleep- I would just like to say "good night & Ill eventually get to see all of you in that great "summer-land in which there is never a sun-set & no "dawning...:) By; LW Craig