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Monday, July 11, 2011

Dreams? Or Just Reminders?

OK, I think it's time to call "Susan from Ghost-Whispers or "Ghost-Hunters. Loud banging on the door waking me up only to find "no-one at the door. Then awaken again to the sound of a childs crys from my closet. When I open the door I see a kid perhaps only 5-6 yrs of age- stooped down, hiding his face with both hands- he pleads "please dont let him hurt me.

I ask how he got in there, & where he was from. He slowly lowers his hands to look up @ me, but "he dont have a face. no nose no eyes, no mouth. He then whispers in a loud anger "you know me! I start to freak-out & wind up falling out of bed. Then I wake again to loud gun-fire & find myself in a trench dressed in a "WW1 army out-fit. The officer, 10-12 feet from me yelling @ me saying; "Craig, "fire your weapon, "thats an order! so, I fired it & it backfired.

I had aimed it @ the officer in charge. I then awake in my bed to the stillness and the silence of the nite. sitting-up slowly in a cold sweat. I havent had those kind of dreams since I was in my pre-teen's. I kind of think it all just a "message- "out of curosity I did a little back-ground search thru Google only to discover that there "was" a Veteran of WW1 by the name; Lonnie Craig- "But what did all the rest of those dreams mean? "Or were they just "reminders from the distant past...?

Sunday, July 10, 2011

My Last Letter To God

My Last Letter To God;

Dear God,

I think we really need to talk & due to the content- I think it only fair to let others become witness of this "one-way" conversation, just like it has always been since the early days of my child-hood. "Why was it that "every prayer I had ever prayed was always "ignored? You never even sent a messenger- & if you did, "you forgot to give me the wisdom to understand the message. "Not even one prayer was ever answered- yet millions of folks swear up & down that their prayers were "always answered. I dont get it.

I wasted over 30 years always trying to do the right thing- even gave you out-right permission to have me possessed with any Prophet or "Angel of wisdom of your choice- even invited the Holy-spirit to possess me. But even that invitation was ignored. 99% of all my prayers were (un-selfish) in my younger days. The other 1% percent was always out of desparation. Even unto this very day; "You still keep your silence. (Why?) Whats so special about those other folk who claim to always get their prayers answered? You already know that I was raised in a very strict & orthodox home with prayers before meals & prayer "after meals? "Prayers before bed-time & prayers upon awakening? "Daily bible readings with "random pop quizzes from Dad & if I gave him an incorrect answer; it meant NO TV or "to bed without supper? Do you remember those good old days!? "I sure do, & I cant let them go- as much as I would like to forget those days, "they still continue to haunt me today.

"Jesus was the daily house-hold name for years & years to come. When I finally left home as a (leagle adult), I felt like I had been released from "prison" yet, less than even one year later- I started having disturbing dreams about all those Preachers & Bible teachers I had to endure all of their "Hell fire & damnation-lessons. "Even had a visiting minister yell at me saying: "Boy- your going strait to hell & Gods grace will not save you! "I was only 7 years old. I couldnt see what the big deal was. It was just a cigarrett he caught me with + "taking Gods name in vain by my hollering "God-dammit, upon my capture. You see- back then; "if you smoked (anything) it was considered "sin against your own body & taking Gods name in vain was called the "unpardonable one,...regardless of your age group. "Do you remember those days God? "I sure do & when I caught the preacher in "church kissing another mans wife in the break-room, that preacher let loose of all kinds of vain references to your name. I was about 8 at that time.

Do you recall the time I caught a group of visiting singers lighting up in the back of the church-building during "intermission at that camp-meeting revival? Do you recall all those vain references to your name that they hailed toward me then saying; "kid- if you tell anyone about what you seen us doing, we will throw your ass in hell ourself. I was only 9 years old & "...God? "I do hope you know that those were not "cigarretts they were burning...:) Here I am today @ the age of 57. I havent smoked anything since I was 25- but, then again I have asthma to thank for that one. Just one more question- & Im done and I promise that you will never hear another prayer from my lips... "Why did you allow my wife "Maryann to die on the delivery-table along with our child in 1986? I had already offered myself in their place. Were they more worthy of being a better-sacrifice in the name of your "Vain-glory than "myself? I will understand- if you never answer that one and "now, you will have to endure my silence, but my wrath toward your choice of cruilties will remain in "your face "forever. The bottom-line is; "You could have spared me from all of the above- unless, your not really so "all mighty after all?... "CHOW!